Dwell

One of the things that I constantly struggle with is singing worship songs which make me uncomfortable.
 I have never particularly felt great emotions. I can appreciate friends who have great passion, burst of anger, joy, love. I have these feeling as well, but they are mear bumps on the richter scale. Yet it seemed to me that the worship songs writen are for those who can reach these peaks of emotional highs. Take for example the Vineyard worship song 'Mercy is Falling'; It just left me wondering what it was all about. If there was anyone who could actually ascribe to the repetitiveness of these lines.

mercy is falling, is falling, is falling
mercy it falls like a sweet spring rain
mercy it falling its falling all over me

  It reminded me of the Paul Kelly song 'Summer Rain' which made more scene, were I could imagine, the taste and smell of summer rain. A real blessing from God.

Theologically worship was also was one of those things which I struggled with. While I could appreciate writers following a doctrine, for me; especially now, I don't follow a necessary black and white understanding. Often I felt I almost felt I was singing a lie. The mouth was opening, yet the mind didn't know or disagreed. You almost felt like it was a brain washing propaganda meeting.

On a positive note, there are songs where non of these things mattered. "Dwell", I heard this in Alice Spings under the shadow of the MacDonnell Ranges. We were at a pastors conference and Casey Corum was there and singing this song. There was something; it had to do with space and presence where the mind and heart collide. A rare occurrence, especially for me. Even now I can sing this whole heartedly, turning off my brain is not necessary.